A bad night's sleep…
by Just Chuck
Summary: Sometimes dreams do come true, sometime we rather they didn't... Was going to be the one shot, however I'm in need of silliness, so I'll put out a few more, but not on any regular schedule, since I'm not on one these can't be.
1. Oh devil, you dog

A bad nights sleep…

Oh Devil, you dog

Disclaimer - What is to follow is truly crap. Really it is crap.. lots or runny, smelly. you get the idea. Turn away now if you're planning on eating anything in the next hour or so. And please, please do not read while drinking any alcoholic beverage or driving a remote controlled car.

—

"Oh crap! Detective, for my fathers sake, keep on that blindfold, I am told that this is suppose to be a surprise, and really you don't want to mess up your spawn's hard work now do you. Yes I thought not. Besides you are wearing one of my favourite silk ties and I really don't want to have to tie it so tight that it will take Ms Lopez a week to undue the knot." She felt the tie tug down over her eyes again and the little slit of dim light went out.

"Lucifer, this is just silly, it's only supper" Decker held back the long sigh (badly). It had been a very long day and they finally closed the case that well Lucifer described as something good enough to be from a premium 'hell-loop' whatever that was. Normally she would ask but the look when she asked what a "hell-loop" was last time, Dan said the look Lucifer gave her was one of pure exasperation.

When she called Trixie and told her that she would be home early tonight and suggested a supper and movie night, Lucifer ears perked up, he giggled as he jumped up, grabbed her phone out of her hand and ran off to the mens room grinning from ear to ear. She tried to catch up to hear what he whispering frantically to her daughter, but the door slammed shut before she could get any details.. Whatever scheme they had planned she was not sure who was more excited, Her daughter or her partner.

(Sniff Sniff) "Come on Monkey, This smells great and I'm hungry, can't I take please this off and eat."

"Nomommynosoon" Trixie was speaking so fast that all Decker could do was per her hands over her eyes and pretend to play along. Only when she did something seemed to be tickling her nose.

"Lucifer, stop that" Chloe whispered.

"Decective - you say something?" she she had to guess from the echo he was across the room.

But that ticking - it was getting worse.

"Monkey where are you?"

"mommiealmostmommie" She heard, coming again from what sounded like from across the other side of the room.

Now Chloe Decker is many things: a mother, a friend, a partner to the so called devil. And her need, neigh, almost insatiable need to solve whatever problem that is before her is what makes her a really really good detective. She heard what sounded like three plates being put in the table, glasses being filled, and she could smell the white wine as it poured into two classes, and one that smelled like chocolate milk. She heard the soft music of Bleeding gums Murphy start playing in the background. Suddenly there was a smell of pasta now reaching her nose, and garlic bread…AND WHO WAS TICKLING MY NOSE!

"MOMMIETAKEOFFTHEEYETHING!"

"Blindfold spawn, it's called a blindfold"

Chloe pushed up the blindfold, looking down at a table with two lit candles lighting the now dim room, she now noticed that the large plate of spaghetti with one large meatball was in the middle of the table.

"Oh Monkey thank…." She stopped and stared at Lucifer, staring at her with large loving eyes from across the table, that long long tongue sticking out of the side of his perfect mouth with the wide smile. He was dressed in his dress collar, with his fur perfectly combed….

COLLAR….FUR… TONGUE… WHAT THE CRAP?

It was then that she noticed her own, tiny blonde poodle paws and felt something moving behind her… almost like … and she really really not sure she could have verbalized… wagging.

"Oh crap….no no no no no" was all she could say…

"Detective" She saw the now worried mutt sitting across the table, smile disappearing and with his paw extended, panting with excitement and concern all at the same time. He then bent down and nudged the meatball over to her side of the plate with the devilish gleam in his eyes.

"MOMMIE" Cloke looked over at her daughter and there she saw a little money in a bright red fez hat and red jacket jumping up and down in excitement.

Try as he might, she felt the room go dark and she fell like she was falling. Then there was a thud.

—-

"MOMMIE"

She immediately recognized the worry in her daughters voice.

Chloe open up her eyes, and her mini mommie eyes full of concern was staring straight back at her.

"Spawn, your mother is alright, she just fell asleep and slipped off the couch. Detective I know you're tired but the movie, which really is a major stretch of the imagination is finally over, and both of you are falling asleep. Tell you what…" Lucifer grabbed her hands and helped her to her feet, she could not help but stare at Lucifer's hands holding her's. She took a deep breath before looking towards her rear, feeling relief when nothing was there, and then she slowly up at his slightly scruffy face, but otherwise perfectly manicured features…

"Detective?"

"ol-y crap, sorry what Lucifer…" she had trouble focusing.

He took a deep breath, and Chloe could sense the annoyance of her partner at having to stated what he thought was obvious.

"Detective. Really I don't think Father has had a good one of those.. well ever, possibly.. maybe. Nevermind. But back to business, this "Lady and the whatever it was" movie is finally over, your and your spawn are falling asleep, its the weekend and you're off the next couple of days. You and" he looked down at the… child now sleepy grabbing hold of his leg in a death grip. "…should just sleep in and then I'll pick you up at say 10:30 and we will all go to brunch."

When he finally saw his detective move her head in what he took as a yes.

"Excellent Detective" Lucifer said as he picked up Trixie and passed her over to her mother as if she had the plague..

"Detective, I will bid you a fond adieu." He turned and half walk / ran towards the door.

"Hey, do me one favour before you go" Chloe spoke softly not to wake up the little one.

"Can you stick you tongue out, just for a minute, maybe left side?"

—-

Hello

My first Lucifer fic, and honestly my first fic in a long long time. I really liked doing this several years ago but like most things life got in the way of the fun stuff.

I got a notification about an old fic I wrote and after watching a Lucifer marathon I took a quick look and quickly glanced at a couple of Lucifer fics, and with the need to de-stress a little after a week of hell (which is what brought on the marathon) I decided, oh crap why not. I wrote this in the style of one of my old Chuck fanfic's.

Disclaimer - As always I do not own anything. Not sure if it's necessary to put this in, but old habits die hard.

Everything is owned by other people, and I make more standing on the street corner in a ghost town with a "Change" sign than I will ever writing anything.

I have not had this beta's so all the mistakes are mine, and like most of these types of stories I have done it's what could be done in about an hour of writing.

JC


	2. Homesick?

Hell's chief creator of torment, agony, suffering, extreme pain and self proclaimed LA's main causer of the hemorrhoids (...you had to be there, realllly you had to...) was nearly at her breaking point.

She caused such sweet pain for centuries to those that deserved it. Truth be told, she truly delighted in it, she longed for it after leaving hell. She enjoyed the bodies writhing in agony for centuries on centuries without any end on sight. At first, all this brought back fond memories.

But then they crowded around this tiny area in front of her and started...started...the movements that these humans were putting themselves through, all without a leather whip, red hot poker, thumb screws, waterboarding, Barney the dinosaur theme song on endless repeat... Hell there wasn't even of her favorite subtle torture, fingernails on a chalkboard to egg them on.

It was wrong.

Just so so SO wrong.

She felt her stomach starting to do strange things, like whatever was in it wanted out. She saw all those losers throwing up after only a couple of bottles of rum. Surely she was not going to be one of those garbage can or toilet bowl huggers that she laughed at every night when she was at Lux.

She watched in horror at was transpiring before her, the endless writhing, the limbs moving at unholy positions, the this was the first time she felt that sorry for all those souls that she - lets say - "interacted" with. Lucifer mentioned that it was time for payback and she hope that he had no idea else he might be running back to hell... Or did he?

is that why he, and for that matter, Decker are suddenly no where to be found.

These strange multi colored creatures floundered all around in front of her, Their cries and their whaling should be music to her ears. But no...no they were not.

This has been what, six , seven centuries since this started. The mind numbing sounds, the creatures crawling all around all the weird shapes, and well stuff…. Sticky stuff… way way too sticky stuff…. not fun type of sticky stuff… and it was all over everything… her…what was stuck to her pants?

She hung her head in defeat, she knew when she was beaten. This was Lucifer's doing He should have know this would happen. He should be the one here to deal with this. At first she saw it as an opportunity to learn new torture techniques. But now she realized that there were some line that should not be crossed.

She slumped onto the ground. Here energy spent. She heard the creatures all scream in delight. One of them ran over and threw themselves around Mazes neck

"Maze did I do good. Did you like it"

"Yeah sure kid" Maze stared at Maze in a garbage bag covered with glued on tissue paper feathers.

"I wish mommy and Lucifer could have come". Trixie waved at the dozen or other dancers as she then started to squirming out of her costume"

" I mean thanks for taping my dance recital dress rehearsal I just hope mommy and Lucifer can come to the actual recital on Friday"

Maze smiled a smile that was wicked incarnate. "Oh I will make sure that they will be here kid, even if I have to kill someone to make sure it's a work event"

It was then a dancer came by doing high kicks and Maze got one to the head, knocking her out cold.

"MAZE"

"MAZE WAKE UP"

Lucifer was standing over Maze who was lying on the bar in Lux, surrounded by several large empty bottles of very expensive beverages.

"Wha - what do you want" she grumbled.

"The Detective and I need to go to what seems to be a rather grizzly murder-suicide." Lucifer informed her.

"And since you are the only one I can get on short notice, I need you to take Trixie to her rehearsal." Decker said as she and Lucifer headed towards the elevator.

Trixie ran over to her dressed in an orange garbage bag with tissue paper feathers glued all over it and hugged like Maze was her lifeline. Maze cringed as the glue stuck feathers to her leather pants.

"Monkey, no! Remember what I told you , you can't hug anyone when your in your costume, you will rip those feathers right off. Besides the glue is not dry yet and you don't want Mommy re-gluing all those feathers again."

"Oh Maze, do be on your BEST behavior, I'm sure I can find a way to get pay back for this. Well better you than me" Lucifer said with a huge grin just before the elevator door shut.

* * *

Might do this for all of them just to get it out of my system. Again no beta. Worked on during small breaks and in my phone so forgive any errors. See the first dream for the disclaimers.

JC

Chuck


End file.
